Country Clubbin'

My husband wants to join a country club. Like, bad.  We have discussions about it all the time.  I am not the country club type.  I can't imagine lounging by the pool in one of those swimsuits with the skirt attached talking about who has a better nanny and who has a better tennis game. Ew.  The old men?  The whiny kids peeing in the pool?  The lacoste sweaters? I think if I lived in Lubbock I would be a member, mainly because there is only one country club and not much to do otherwise.  But, Dallas?  I don't know. And what about the clothes?  I can't wear 5" wedges and tons of gold gypsy jewelry to a CC.  I mean, I like dressing preppy sometimes just not all the time.  Jon is a 24/7 preppy puppy.  I would consider Sloane and myself to be more like "Prepsters" like preppy hipsters.  Don't tell Jon, he hates the word "hipster".  He does like that I dress on trend though.  He likes girls that know how to dance (no, not on a pole) and dress well.  He emailed me the Brooks Brothers kids website the other day (it was just a forward, he wasn't creeping on children's clothes) and said something like "can't wait for Sloane to wear this"...my response was..."yea sure.  I could manage a black popped collar BB polo with skinny leopard jeans and TB flats".  Not exactly the same outfit he was envisioning.  I like mixing preppy with trendy, and I feel like a lesbian when I wear polo shirts. 

So, country club.  Jon told me last night he called Lakewood CC and asked about their Junior Membership.  OK, I thought, at least he is talking to me about it right? I mean, it is really his money and he could be the type of husband that does whatever he wants with it.  But no, he shares it with me, and thanks to the three years we spent in law school I learned about a little thing called Community Property.  If you aren't familiar, look it up.  You can bet that Camille Grammer knows a thing or two about it...take that Kelsey!  Jon taught me more than he should have in law school and I really appreciate it.  Although I did find out that he drafted our divorce papers when he took Marriage and Family Law.  He says it was not a legit legal document, just a rough draft for class and he couldn't think of anyone elses names to put on it.  Really dude? How about John and Jane Doe?  Ever heard of them?  I.Am.Not.Stupid.  Mild speed bump, we got over it. 

OK back to the point (PADD in full effect today, sor!).  He tells me that this Country Club will cost X amount of dollars.  Basically a fully loaded Tahoe.  So I'm like, OK, what do we get with this.  I am thinking, food, pool, golf, party room in our name, more food, and maybe free gas for life.  He says "What do you mean?  We get access to the club and free golf".  Say what?  You mean to tell me that we would put down enough money to own a very nice car and all we get is free golf?  Homo say what?  He said we would have to pay for meals, guests, golf cart rentals, etc.  The fact that he would even consider this is beyond me.  Jon drives an old Suburban (because he is "monetarily conservative" and can't stomach having two car payments) and his golf clubs recently got stolen.  Wait, before you feel really sorry for him please know that he left the garage open over night and someone came into our garage and took them.  So in the midst of our discussion I say, you drive a 10 year old car and you are using your dad's old golf clubs, but you would be willing to throw down major cash to join a CC?  His response, "Oh my gosh Sara, I would get new clubs!".  Ha ha!!  Needless to say we are years from this decision and if we were to ever join it would be because he bribed me with LV luggage and perhaps a Rolex.  

Side note--my ankles and feet are looking fresh today.  I considered wearing capris and flip flops (I know, ick right?) just to show them off.  I put on leggings and a tank this morning when I got up.  As Jon was brushing his teeth I screamed..."OMG! My ankles and feet look normal!"  They did.  I felt pretty.  I was so happy; elated actually.  Jon says in a very genuine way, "Babe, your beauty and worth are not measured by the size of your ankles".  That was sweet.  I just wish we were in agreement.